So, I am asking you.
Did he fuck you?
Did he give you money?
Did he not tell you, he had a wife and a child?

"Your child was born with an enlarged heart. We don't think it will survive the day. It can't stay with you in this room. We will take it upstairs to the infant intensive care unit. You can come for a visit tomorrow morning and feed it, if it is still alive."

Half dead, the boy was with fear. Small, and dark, with fine black hair and eyes that didn't focus. He stood in front of the wall, with his mouth open. The bigger kids were spitting at him, aiming into his wide-open mouth. It was a game, it seemed, that he was allowed to be part of.

Know that the Lord is sweetness itself. Everything is a sign of his grace.

"I love you, Kate White." The man said with tears in his eyes.
"Oh, you are so dramatic" The woman laughed.
They laid on a mattress in the smaller room of the house he shared with a friend.

* Place me like a seal on your heart,
for love is as strong as death,
passion cruel as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
fiercer then any flame.
water cannot quench love;
no flood can sweep it away;

There is love all around, only love to be found.
There is god all around only god to be found.

Stick pins into a sheep's heart and roast it over a fire into which salt has been thrown, saying:

"It is not this heart I mean to burn
But Peter Brown's heart I mean to burn
Wishing him neither rest nor peace
Till he is dead and gone."

"Are they gone yet?" The woman inquired in a low voice. He motioned to her to be quiet. She laid back down at his side snuggling her face into the nape of his neck.
"How good you smell," she said, embracing him.
"Who can it be? She marveled. "Always at this time, pacing back and forth in front of the door? It must be a man," she listened to the heavy footsteps. "Maybe your wife hired a detective, "she laughed mockingly.
He just smiled into the ceiling and waived his hand, in a dismissive gesture. "She wouldn't do that." He said.
"Why not?" The woman sat up.
"She trusts me." He said calmly. "She knows I am working."

I made a small image of a bird, using real feathers; I enclosed it in a red silk bag, wore it around my neck, Yet, your love still flew away.

"I will not leave my wife!"
"I will not leave my wife!"
"I will not leave my wife!"
"I will not leave my wife!"
"Why?"

"Do you love me?"
"Yes, I love you Kate."
"What about her?"
"What about her?"
"Do you love her?"
"Yes, in a different way."
"How?"
"Like a sister."
"One doesn't fuck, one's sister."
"OK, it's incest, satisfied?"

* If only you were my own true brother.
Nursed at my mothers breasts!
Then, if I found you outside,
I would kiss you,
And no man would despise me.
I would lead you to the room of the mother, who bore me,
bring you to her house
for you to embrace me;
I would give you spiced wine
to drink,
the nectar of my pomegranates.
Your left arm under my head and your right arm round me.

My left arm under the ape of your neck, my right arm between your shoulder blades, I press myself to your chest, I turn you over, sliding my left leg under your thigh and grabbing your right calf with my foot. I cover myself with you, your weight oppresses my vital air, my brain will get faint soon, but I don't care, I like this half conscious condition, so close to death, so close to you. I would like to spread myself like dough all around you. I would like to envelop you, to take you in, to consume you.

"Hungry thieves in Romania plied a large pig with so much brandy that it fell down drunk, and then they chopped off one of its legs for dinner, police reported Friday. They tried to steal it but they couldn't move the drunken hog, because of its great weight, so they resolved to cut of the animal’s hind leg and escape with it. The police captured the thieves, because the owner awakened, hearing the terrified squealing of the butchered pig. He ran to the pig stall, where the thieves were busy with their kitchen knives trying to separate the much-desired chunk of meat. Interrogated about the crime, the men pleaded guilty but asked for leniency because they had not stolen the whole hog. " We did not kill it, we just chopped off a bit to feed our hunger," said one of the culprits."
Her Internet news informed her, when she finally learned how to log on.

Her daughter used to laugh when she saw her running. She ran very rarely, and only if absolutely necessary. She knew she looked ridiculous with her limp, being a little bit overweight too. She almost lost her leg in an accident but after several surgeries, she ended up with a slight limp, which was far better then anybody expected.

"Du bist ein Schlapp Swanz" The German woman joked.
"What does it mean?" She asked.
"You are a limp dick." The woman translated, hysterical laughter trembling her body.
"Who is this woman?" Kate asked the man later.
"She used to be my lover." He answered.

The woman picked up the New York Times, and opened it at the Metro section.

"A second suspect in the nearly fatal beating of a black man outside a Long Island nightclub over the Memorial Day weekend surrendered to authorities." She read. She lifted the coffee cup to her lips. Looking out the window of the small Café on the corner of Broadway and Mercer she thought about confrontation versus docility.

"What would you like to be if you could be an animal?" The man asked.
"A snake." She answered.
"A snake?"
"Yes, a snake, to crawl up your arss."
I would like that." The man giggled.
"Would you, really?" The woman marveled.
"You know, you are the only woman I would like to be fucked by?" The man offered.
"And I would love to fuck you, to crawl up your little hole. I would become your serpent fire. I would become your Kundalini.
I am the fire of the underworld. The fire that comes from below, more material then the fire of red-hot iron, then the fire of glowing metal. I am the fire that is of that force, in the living center of the elements. I am Kundalini, without me you couldn't be a human being."
"Oh, really? The man laughed, his cheeks blushing with happy contentment that usually followed their love making.
"What would you like to be?"
"A fish, I would like to be a fish." The man said adjusting the lumpy pillow behind his back. Leaning against the cool white wall, he looked at the woman tenderly. "You don't know how much I love you" He said.

And the woman replied: "I want to skin you and pull you over myself, so I would be inside you. And I would wear you day and night; I would never let you go. And your skin would grow into my flesh, and we would be attached for ever."

"I have, I do, and I always will love you Kate White, remember that." The man said, embracing the crying woman. He sat on the pavement beside her car, pulled out a flat bottle of whisky, and offered it to her.
"Come in the car," the woman asked.
Let’s make love, she suggested. Surprisingly, he was "too tired."
"Give me your phone number, Peter." She demanded.
"OK, I'll give it to you Kate, because I trust you." He said.
Then she called, to find out, what she already knew deep down.

For the last four years Brenda Long has spent her days in torment, rhythmically screaming and thrashing in her mother's modest house in Queens. Since the seizure in 1992, Ms Long, now 38, has needed total care. She must be fed, bathed, diapered and, at night, tied into bed so she doesn't push herself over the padded bedrails. Sometimes she manages few intelligible words: Water, or bury me, But mostly she screams, over and over.

The New York Times is available for home or office delivery in most major U.S. cities, the ad announced.
Dealing with end- of- life issues, the woman thought, was what she needed to learn. Then she thought of her lover, who kept deceiving her every weekend with an other one, breaking her heart week after week. She wished she could do something about it. And then she started to chant :

"I am a harpy, a woman vulture. I will devour you. I will tear out your heart, I will cut it up, and roast it, and then I will eat it, it will be inside me, you will be inside me, and I will take my finger and shuw it up my arss, so when I digested you, you couldn't escape my body. And you would be trapped inside me. Your heart would become my soul. And we would be one for ever.

Door of my heart open wide I keep for thee
Will thou come will thou come, precious one come to me.
Will my days fly away without seeing you my Lord?
Night and day night and day
I wait for you night and day.

"How can I please you Kate? What can I do for you that would make you happy?"
"Marry me."
"That I can't do," the man said, a little bit annoyed," I am already married."
"Than don't ask." The woman took out a condom from a little plastic packet.
"I mean physically, sexually, I do anything you want me to, just tell me. You surly have a phantasy."
"No, I don't."
The woman said, placing the latex condom on the head of the man's pride, and started rolling it down slowly.
"Just tell me, I am up for everything." The man whispered in expectation.
"No, really, I can't think of anything. You are giving me all I can have, before I even can think of it." The woman complimented.
"Just strike that male ego, just strike it," He laughed happily.
"You know what, I can't marry you on physical level, but I can marry you on spiritual level. We can make an altar here, we can bring in a table or something, and buy lots of flowers, in fact that's what I wanted to do, I wanted to surprise you, and then we could exchange our woes."
"What woes?" The woman looked at the man in disbelieve.
Is he playing with me, or is he crazy? She thought.
"Marriage woes," he said very seriously.
She decided not to respond, instead she lay on top of him pushed her hand under his neck, and stack her tongue into his mouth.

"88 years old Leo F. marries the 33 years old Ms B.- friends worry." The headlines read in the New York Observer.
"Did you know about old Leo marrying this young woman?" The woman asked.
"Well, my cousin Bertha, who was training Leo's horses, talked about him meeting the girl out there at the ranch." The man said.
"Is there anything I can tell you that you already don't know about?" The woman asked.
"Yes."
"What is it?"
"Tell me whom you have slept with since we were together?"

The dragon lies hidden in the deep.
Then he appears in the field.
By day, he is active and vigilant.
By night he is careful and apprehensive.
Danger, but no mistakes.
The dragon leaps up from the deep.
He wings through the sky
The dragon overreaches.
Guilt.

There are limits to your influence. There are boundaries to the area of activity that you control. Do not attempt to carry your influence into spheres where circumstances and events have not led you naturally.

"I have cast my I ching today, darling, and this is what it had to say."
"This what?"
"What I just told you, about the dragon and everything."
"Oh"
"I also read your horoscope for the month, my dear, and you will leave me, it said, you are fed up with me, it said, and you need your space, a new flirt will bolt you around the 24th, and you will realize that a casual affair is more pleasing to you, than a fatal attraction." The woman said, half jokingly.
"I will never leave you", He said," you shouldn't believe that kind’ a crap."
"I think you will" The woman said sadly," I know it".

"I need a cigarette." The man sat up on his bed, pulling up his knees to his chest. She looked at him from below." You smoke too much," she said and reached for his large soft testicles resting on the pillow.
"I like to touch you," she said.
And then she remembered him telling her, how his wife likes to suck on them.
That made her want to pull on him really hard, and that weirdly reminded her of her childhood evenings, when the big white goat named Katy used to wobble home from the meadow pulling her huge udder almost on the ground. Her grandma pushed a little chair to the side of the animal and milk started squirting into the tin container that she held tightly between her thighs. Sitting in a New York City loft, the woman sensed the foam of the fresh warm milk that used to leave a white mustache under her nose. And she couldn't tell, whether it was the memory of the milk or of the early evening descending sun that used to make her feel so warm inside, but she missed the feeling for sure. She missed it a lot.

"We should get up and go," the man said between two puffs." Yes, it's getting late." She agreed. "Let me just finish my cigarette, then I take you to the station." He said. She trained herself not to think about the other life he lived during the weekends.

* Night after night on my bed
I have thought my true love;
I have thought him but have not found him,

I have called him but he has not answered. I said, “I will rise and go the rounds of the city,
through the streets and the squares,
seeking my true love."
I thought him but I did not find him,
I called him but he did not answer.
And some friends had asked me;
"Where has your lover gone,
most beautiful of women?
Which way did your lover turn,
that we may look for him with you?"

"My lover fucks an other woman at the weekend," I said to them. And they were not surprised. "He is with me during the week, and then he turns around and goes to her." I pleaded. My friends must be either deaf, or totally unsympathetic to my plight, I thought, and I was right.
They kept reciting in a chorus:
"She has the right, she is the wife."
You are just a side dish, my dear, I told myself, and I was right again.

There I was, at their house, sitting at their table, their child on my lap, saliva with tears mixed in my open mouth.
"Look, this is our bedroom, she said, this is our bed. This is where he fucks me every night. "
"Oh, Lulu, he must love you very much." I said. "He gave me up for you."
"He fucked my arss!" She exclaimed.
"Lulu, he loves you; I was just there to fill his time, when you were away. But now you are back, and he is with you, you see, don't worry, Lulu, he is loyal to you."

I heard his steps, and thought :

* "Listen my beloved is knocking :
"Open to me my sister, my dearest,
my dove, my perfect one;
for my head is drenched with dew,
my locks with the moisture of the night."
I have stripped off my dress; must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet; must I soil them again?" With my own hands I opened to my love,

but my love had turned away and gone by;
my heart sunk when he turned his back.
I sought him
but I did not find him.
I called him, but he did not answer.
If you find my beloved, will you not tell him
that I am faint with love?

"Lulu, I will go home now, I beg you, don't hate me please, because I loved him, for you."

Now I will have to go and untie the seven knots on the red ribbon, that I had tied, one each day, first knot in the middle of the yarn, second knot a little to the right of the first, third to the left of the first, forth to the right of the second, fifth to the left of the third, sixth near the end of the yarn. As I tied each knot, I repeated these words: "With this knot I tie your love and bind it firmly to mine. You will not be able to break it or loosen it. Your love will be completely mine and mine will be yours. We will stand together forever and nothing, nor any one, will be able to lessen, break, destroy, or interrupt our happiness."